shit!!!

Liars were born to be liars

Dying Inside

You thought that it finally ends. All those sufferings, the dark life you're living in, and the misery you're feeding on.

A nice day it was, you went out just get a life once in a while. Meet up with some friends and by accident found a light. A light which was so damn bright that it hurts your eyes and somehow gave you a hope ; to bring you out from the life you're living in. To get you the hell out from the sorrow. Without any warning, he/she step into your life and start to shine your life with a lot of different colours. You know it wont last forever, but never wish for it to come so soon.

Your wish didn't come true. The day you both were away was the day your heart was crushed. You weren't left alone, but your heart were. The pain struck your heart right in the middle and there you were, weakened by the force of an aching ignorance. Killed by a throbbing callous act. Again, you wished. You wished that it was all just a dream except for the fact that you know it was just another way of comforting yourself.

And all you could do tonight is just writing. Being as cold as you can like who you used to be. Care less of what ever happened. Hardhearted and cold.

I'm sorry, I just can't detached myself from you.

[p/s; don't ask]

Us =]

Yesterday was my Mum's birthday and also the third day of raya. So Mum invited guests to come along :) I invited my old friends, Merve and Yang.

13 September 2009

being silly with shirt tucked in

The day I left Malaysia. HAHA Going to Sudan on this day with Kak Hafizah ONLY =]]

The two of us met at Tower 1 KLCC for me to exchange car. We both went to KLIA by Uncle Hasnol's car, and he helped us to check-in =D

As we walked in, I mean, passed the departure thingy part, we both were alone AND nervous. Hee.. Flight will be around 3.30am, so we just hung around like we've never been there before. HAHA

Arrived at Doha at 5.30am (10.30am in Malaysia) and guess what? Our flight to Khartoum which should be at 7.40am was delayed for 5 hours!!!!!!! Again, we had to hung around like two idiots. So, the third time we went into the bathroom, we took some pictures :)

Do You?

Do you think that it is stupid to say NO to someone else just to be fair to others?

I mean like, two different person invited you out. To the first one, A, you said 'I'm sorry, I'm busy.' The next minute, someone you really wanted to go out with, B, text you and ask you out, and the only thing you can say is the same thing, 'I'm sorry, I'm busy' when the real reason is that you are trying to be fair. The next hour, you call someone and ask him/her out since you're so damn boring at home. When A got to know, hes/he questioned you why.

Does it sounds stupid? You let go of what makes you happy just to make sure that you are fair enough to two different but important people in your life.

In the last post, I wrote this ; 'Hearts are often broken when words are left unspoken.' You know it's for real. Your ego stops you from being sorry, is that okay? No, it's NOT okay. What do you get from being an ego kind of person? Nothing. Well, you do get something, not getting hurt for what you've done yourself. But in the end, do you think you worth it?

You know you don't
You know that it kills you
You know you're hurt
And you know you will do nothing

For fuck's sake, would you stop being sorry when you know it's YOUR fault?

[p/s; do you think this post reflects me?]

What actually happened?

You fall for someone but yet he/she doesn't fall for you in return. In fact, he/she just hates you 'cause you have that feeling for him/her.

It's hard isn't it? You can ignore every single pain in your heart, but when someone or something reminds you of 'em, its not easy for you to resist it.

Yet when you hold her/him in your arms, you just can't help but to worry that he/she might leave you alone without him/her by your side anymore.

And I just have to ignore what ever pain inside of me, stop worrying that 'someone' will ever go away, and stop falling if it hurts too much.

This is for you :)

When you were mad, I was scared. I was scared that I wasn't able to see that smile that I love on your face. And when you laugh, I'm so glad. I'm glad that even though it's not me who make you laugh, but I know somehow you love it :)

When ever you're close by, I feel like I wanna hold you close; so close that I can breathe you in. Each time I hug you tight, I draw in your scent. I fill myself in with your perfect aroma. And each time you let go, I feel like I miss something so important in my life.

Holding you make me feel safe. Hugging you chase away the emptiness. Being with you fills me up with all sorts of strength. I don’t feel like talking. I just wanna look at you in the eyes, look at you when you talk and when you smile.

Thank you for putting an honest smile on my face, thank you for giving me my happiness back and thank you for always being by my side to tell me never to give up.

You're the reason for my smile; you're the reason for my growing spirit.

Hearts are often broken when words are left unspoken. I don't wanna make that same mistake again, and this time I don't regret knowing you. Ily, Leesya :)

[p/s; to you, this is just a piece of what I feel. It grows every single day]