Does it matter?

Why must it happen again? Should you just leave it hanging, refuse to accept the truth or get ready to face anything and when it comes you just act like nothing happen? It's not about who or what is it about, but it's about how you felt. Ready to face it means you know what ever risk you're taking is going to affect you one way or another.

Should you just ignore your feelings because you don't want to get hurt or would you prefer to let it all out, but only when nobody's around? Which one is the best? To know the truth would hurt you the most but not to know what's really going on is like you detached yourself from the reality. Even though it's wrong, but you know by doing so you'll be okay.

Would you cry for just once so that what ever the pain you are feeling are all out with the tears or would you be heartless and pretend to be strong so that you won't feel weak as if the whole world is on top of you? Being cold might be the best, but when you 'accidentally' recall everything, that is far more worst than being weak.

Would you rather not to say anything for you fear what you try to hide being revealed or would you be honest to yourself and words it out? By not doing so you know you have to keep it, but it's better than to let people know what's inside of you; the REAL you.

What ever it is, does it matter to you on how you handle your things or you'd think that you are actually running away?

[p/s; who's that person? Words aren't the best for me, as it always failed me in the past]

shit!!!

Liars were born to be liars

Dying Inside

You thought that it finally ends. All those sufferings, the dark life you're living in, and the misery you're feeding on.

A nice day it was, you went out just get a life once in a while. Meet up with some friends and by accident found a light. A light which was so damn bright that it hurts your eyes and somehow gave you a hope ; to bring you out from the life you're living in. To get you the hell out from the sorrow. Without any warning, he/she step into your life and start to shine your life with a lot of different colours. You know it wont last forever, but never wish for it to come so soon.

Your wish didn't come true. The day you both were away was the day your heart was crushed. You weren't left alone, but your heart were. The pain struck your heart right in the middle and there you were, weakened by the force of an aching ignorance. Killed by a throbbing callous act. Again, you wished. You wished that it was all just a dream except for the fact that you know it was just another way of comforting yourself.

And all you could do tonight is just writing. Being as cold as you can like who you used to be. Care less of what ever happened. Hardhearted and cold.

I'm sorry, I just can't detached myself from you.

[p/s; don't ask]

Us =]

Yesterday was my Mum's birthday and also the third day of raya. So Mum invited guests to come along :) I invited my old friends, Merve and Yang.

13 September 2009

being silly with shirt tucked in

The day I left Malaysia. HAHA Going to Sudan on this day with Kak Hafizah ONLY =]]

The two of us met at Tower 1 KLCC for me to exchange car. We both went to KLIA by Uncle Hasnol's car, and he helped us to check-in =D

As we walked in, I mean, passed the departure thingy part, we both were alone AND nervous. Hee.. Flight will be around 3.30am, so we just hung around like we've never been there before. HAHA

Arrived at Doha at 5.30am (10.30am in Malaysia) and guess what? Our flight to Khartoum which should be at 7.40am was delayed for 5 hours!!!!!!! Again, we had to hung around like two idiots. So, the third time we went into the bathroom, we took some pictures :)

Do You?

Do you think that it is stupid to say NO to someone else just to be fair to others?

I mean like, two different person invited you out. To the first one, A, you said 'I'm sorry, I'm busy.' The next minute, someone you really wanted to go out with, B, text you and ask you out, and the only thing you can say is the same thing, 'I'm sorry, I'm busy' when the real reason is that you are trying to be fair. The next hour, you call someone and ask him/her out since you're so damn boring at home. When A got to know, hes/he questioned you why.

Does it sounds stupid? You let go of what makes you happy just to make sure that you are fair enough to two different but important people in your life.

In the last post, I wrote this ; 'Hearts are often broken when words are left unspoken.' You know it's for real. Your ego stops you from being sorry, is that okay? No, it's NOT okay. What do you get from being an ego kind of person? Nothing. Well, you do get something, not getting hurt for what you've done yourself. But in the end, do you think you worth it?

You know you don't
You know that it kills you
You know you're hurt
And you know you will do nothing

For fuck's sake, would you stop being sorry when you know it's YOUR fault?

[p/s; do you think this post reflects me?]

What actually happened?

You fall for someone but yet he/she doesn't fall for you in return. In fact, he/she just hates you 'cause you have that feeling for him/her.

It's hard isn't it? You can ignore every single pain in your heart, but when someone or something reminds you of 'em, its not easy for you to resist it.

Yet when you hold her/him in your arms, you just can't help but to worry that he/she might leave you alone without him/her by your side anymore.

And I just have to ignore what ever pain inside of me, stop worrying that 'someone' will ever go away, and stop falling if it hurts too much.